Forget Me Not

I met him when I was 17. He was my friend Ophelia's cousin. I met him at a bonfire at the beach. He was tall, had dark hair, green eyes, he drove a motorcycle. He told her he thought I was beautiful. I experienced my first taste of passion as I looked at him across the fire. The next night he took me to the movies on our first date, it was my first real date. I remember sitting in that dark movie theatre, unable to concentrate on the movie, and watching his hand inch its way across his lap..I knew he wanted to hold my hand. It took him about an hour before he finally reached over and took my hand in his. We still laugh about that.
He was 17 and in no hurry for a serious girlfriend. I was in love as only a young girl can love. I would doodle his name..with hearts all over my school books....Mr & Mrs. We formed a friendship....a bond....He was my best friend, I was his. But his eyes, they couldn't hide what he felt. We were inseparable. Even when we were involved with other people. He would hold my hand and ask "Are you still my girl?"

Yes. Always yes.

I would laugh and say "you're going to marry me one day, you know...maybe, when were 80." He has never been a man of many words. He has always been a man that keeps his emotions to himself. But his eyes, they said everything he couldn't. He looked at me as if I was Aphrodite.

When I was about 22 years old, his brother shared a conversation with me that he had had with J. "He thinks you're perfect. Perfect. He knows he's young and that he's not ready, he knows if you two get together he'll fuck it up some way. And then he'll have nothing. He can't risk losing you."

So I waited and as each year went by I would tell myself maybe..just maybe, he's ready for me now. It never seemed to be the right time. There were times when we were both involved with other people. Or one of us was single while the other one wasn't.

Then, it happened. He took me to the beach.. we slow danced in the moonlight....then drew a heart in the sand, and told me the three words i'd longed to hear. I cried and thought "finally".

The next two months were heaven on earth. I walked on clouds. Then one day, he came to me, and told me the girl he had stopped seeing a few months before was pregnant. He did everything he could to keep from losing me. He tried to convince me that we everything would be okay. I told him to do what was right and I gave him up.

I've told you the rest.

I didn't see him last night. Ooooh, but I wanted to. We spoke on the phone for almost 3 hours. Reminiscing, remembering growing up together..the good times...the regrets. The regrets. So many regrets. I wanted to explain our story to you....maybe you'd understand. I won't break anyone's heart, well, maybe just his, and maybe just mine, again.....it seems that time is still not on our side....but maybe, one day...
when we're 80.